haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
