I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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