he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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