Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
