I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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