oh god the rape fog is back!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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