Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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