i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
