Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm getting married
To pizza
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
