i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
