As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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