I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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