I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize