The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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