Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
