she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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