around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
