Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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