She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
