so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize