well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize