Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
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