Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm too high and old for this...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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