Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
