kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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