I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
