Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
