dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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