glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
