you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
