Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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