it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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