I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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