Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
