So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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