Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
