whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
