Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize