dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
