Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
