A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
