So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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