College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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