I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
