your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
