hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
