One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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