Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
