thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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