I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
