This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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