tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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