i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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