you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
