i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
